As far as I can tell, [success] is just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it might come to pass. Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the doors open in real life, just walk through it. Don’t worry if you miss your cue. There will always be another door opening. – Jim Carrey
Over the past month at work, thanks to organizational team restructuring and supportive leadership, I have been given great opportunities to work more closely with the tech team, begin programming projects, and transition into a site optimization and developer fusion role. Words can’t even begin to describe how awed and grateful I am that just by voicing what I want and where I want to be, I’m getting the opportunities to do and be those exact things.
The trouble though with reaching goals or getting anything you want is that the happiness is quite short-lived. The doubts, insecurities and selfishness kick in almost immedately. Thoughts like the below:
- Where is my associated reward? Recognition?
- Why are people giving me these chances? Why do I deserve it? (aka prime impostor syndrome)
- Why don’t I get to do these things all the time right now? Why do I still have to do old grunt work?
I’ve gotten such a rare, great opportunity to work at a company with people I love, getting to practice the skills I’m still learning and developing, with little pressure and lots of freedom — and all I was doing was whining, venting, and basically only thinking about the treasure, the instant gratification, the wild goose chase that all my dreams could possibly be solved in this moment: right here right now, with little effort.
Why am I in such a rush? Why can’t I enjoy the path to the treasure and just be thankful that doors have been opened, things are moving along well, and I am on track to great things? Why am I dying to have those great things now? And how do I even know if those great things I’m thinking I want are even things that I want?
Of course, appreciating the path and its associated triumphs and struggles just as it is is pretty difficult — so much of our life, and even more so with technology now, has been built up to glorify instant gratification. We think we deserve the world now, and we think we’ll love it when we get it. But rarely is either case true.
So this week/month/year I will remember to keep my head down, thank every person who’s touched upon my journey and has helped open doors (and God, of course, the driving force behind every open door), and remember Jim Carrey’s words — it’s not up to me how things will happen, just take the chances when they present themselves and keep chugging along otherwise.